My focus and energy have been dragging since about Sunday, not to mention my less-than-stellar mood.  I’m starting to wonder if it’s perhaps because my nutrition has taken a small dip this week– starting with a single piece of coffee cake at a cafe, and progressing into the replacement of my normal morning cereal with a very delicious, though nutritionally devoid, pecan coffee cake (Doc and) I made Sunday morning. That, of course, has snowballed into daily chai lattes and vegan chocolate chip cookies. Plus, I’ve neglected to take my vitamins this last week or so… oh, and did I mention that I ran out of decaf coffee last week, and so had a couple of cups of caffeine? I wonder if I’m suffering the fallout of that?

I’m cat-sitting for my advisor this week, and I never feel entirely comfortable in other peoples’ kitchens (including my mother’s kitchen). So, I haven’t been cooking as much, instead resorting to leftovers and more-convenient (though not “convenience”!) foods like crackers and cheese, and pitas and hummus. And coffee cake.

Ugh. Why do I let this happen? I know I’ll feel like crap if I eat like crap! Stupid stupid stupid lazy lazy lazy.

I need to find a way around this, actually.  Every time I go to the field, I end up either 1) gaining an obscene amount of weight (along the lines of 30 lbs), 2) losing an obscene amount of weight (along the lines of 20 lbs), or 3) suffering from general digestive discomfort (thanks to a near- complete lack of vegetables in my diet).  Or some combination of the above.  All of this in turn leads to and reinforces an already present depression or moodiness (hey! a structuring structure!).  Needless to say, not my most productive state.

The worst of it is, if I’m already homesick/ depressed, I really won’t give a sh*t about eating well.  And then it just forms a vicious cycle.

So, two questions: how do I avoid laziness at home, knowing full well that my mood and state of mind are closely tied to what I eat? and: how do I maintain a decent level of nutrition if I’m living with a family that subsists on tortillas, white rice, and beans (and noting that bringing my own food is absolutely not an option)?


4 Responses to “Dragging”

  1. 1 Doc March 26, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Hey, at least you’ve got a fine example for explaining Bourdieu to people!

    Re: the host family situation, you can play the ‘i’m a woman and i can cook too’ card. Bring home some veggies from market and cook them and offer to share cooking duties a couple of times a week. I don’t even get this option 😛

  2. 2 Simon April 3, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    You asked two questions, here are my thoughts, from my solid history of borderline (and not-so-borderline) eating disorders:

    1. Stop beating yourself up. I find that the longer I get angry with myself about eating like an ass, the more I do it. My best move after eating poorly is to drink a big glass of water, realize the world isnt ending and get back on the wagon.

    2. When there isnt good things to eat, eat less. Normally,I eat pretty dang healthy with naturally low-cal food, which I can eat a good amount of and feel full with good things. If I eat poor stuff and still have the mentality of needing to be full, I will eat WAY too many calories and fat….and get fat. If you cant eat the same quality, at least try to eat the same quantity (calorie-wise)

  3. 3 Perry April 4, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Last time I checked, you were still having some difficulty doing handstand-push-ups, planches, and one-legged squats. Even if you don’t have control over what you consume, you can still work on your physical and mental weaknesses. Sure, it isn’t ideal— but isn’t that the point? Challenge yourself to perform well while eating 600 tortillas a day.

  4. 4 katherine April 5, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Thanks for the comments, guys. All very helpful… and each representative of their author!! 😉 🙂

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