There is absolutely nothing that the average person would consider “good” for you about the following recipe. But it is delicious. And, if you’re like me, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with massive amounts of butter and heavy cream every once in a while.* Especially when it is snowing outside.
I made this quiche for brunch on Sunday (brunch being possibly the best invention ever), and it disappeared with shocking speed. Good thing I only got to have one piece, or I would have run the risk of eating it all myself (see previous quiche exploits: Easter Sunday Photo Essay, I ate that quiche with just a little help from roomie and a friend).
1 cup+ 2 tbs whole wheat pastry flour
pinch of salt
1 stick of butter, chilled and cut into 8-ish pieces
3 tbs ice water
1. Go to locally-owned specialty foods store to purchase pastry flour. Discover that they do not carry pastry flour. Go to second, hyper-commercialized, national specialty foods chain to purchase pastry flour. Feel guilty for setting foot in hyper-commercialized national chain. Buy flour and some chocolate to make yourself feel better. Pick up eggs, cheese, and cream while you’re there.
2. Return home. Get out food processor. Realize that roommate did not properly clean food processor after last use. Give food processor more thorough cleaning.
3. Put 1 c. + 2 tbs. pastry flour in bowl of food processor. Cut up chilled butter. Put in food processor with a pinch of salt.
4. Process. While processing, clean other roommate’s dishes. When the flour/ butter mixture resembles tiny pebbles or sand, turn processor off (about 30 seconds- 1 minute).
5. Put flour/butter concoction in a bowl with 3 tbs. of very cold water. Mix with your hands until it forms a ball. Wash hands. Steal a little plastic wrap from roomie because you “don’t buy that sort of thing.” Disentangle clingwrap from damp hands. Wrap dough- ball in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
6. Set alarm to get up early to finish crust and filling, and assemble the quiche. Hit snooze button on alarm no fewer than 4 times. Drag self out of bed, disturbing sleeping cats in the process.
7. Take chilled dough out of refrigerator and let sit for 20 min. While dough is sitting, make coffee and start the steps for the filling.
8. Realize countertop still has dried dough on it from last baking experiment. Scrub countertop with biodegradable spray cleaner that roomie claims is as effective as orange juice. Scrub harder. Sprinkle now-clean countertop with a little pastry flour. Unwrap dough from clingwrap (discard plastic) and place on countertop. Roll ball out into a disc, starting from the middle and alternating directions so it stays round.
9. Become increasingly impatient with dough’s increasing stickyness. Flip several times to roll on both sides. Give up as dough breaks apart and sticks to the rolling pin.
10. Find pie tin in the back of the cupboard. Clean pie tin with soap and water. Take pieces of dough and stick into pie tin, until the entire tin is covered with pieces of dough of more or less the same thickness. Mush together so that it looks like a “rustic” crust. Refrigerate for an hour. Forget about it until step 6 in the filling process.
5 or so small-ish blue and red potatoes
two sprigs of rosemary, the needles removed and chopped finely
3 large cloves of garlic
1 medium sweet onion
1 tbs of butter
salt to taste
pepper to taste
a hefty drizzle of olive oil
asiago/ parmesan/ fontina shredded cheese mix
1/2 pint or so of heavy whipping cream
1. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F. Clean remnants of whatever vegetables you ate last night off of the cutting board. Dry cutting board.
2. Wash and dry small potatoes. Chop into 1/4-inch pieces.
3. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Place potatoes in single layer on baking sheet.
4. Chop rosemary and garlic until fine. Sprinkle over potatoes, along with a little salt and pepper. Use knife to scrape off the rosemary and garlic that has stuck to your fingers. Drizzle the whole pan with about 3 tbs of olive oil.
5. Realize that this whole endeavor would have been much better in a casserole dish.
6. Carefully transfer parchment paper into a casserole dish. Pick up spilled potatoes from the floor. 10-second rule! Place potatoes back on parchment paper with their compatriots. Put casserole dish into oven, and check every 10 minutes or so until the potatoes are soft enough to break with a wooden spoon.
7. While the potatoes are roasting, chop the onion into 1/2-inch slices. Melt 1 tbs butter over low heat in a large frying pan. Add onions, and cover. Let ’em sit there for a while, until they get soft.
8. Meanwhile… remove the pie crust from the fridge. Trim off the unsightly edges, or find a way to make them… sightly.
9. The potatoes are burning! Remove from oven using hot pads. Let cool. They smell delicious. Refrain from eating them.
10. Poke crust all over with a fork. Weight down with beans as shown in Easter Sunday: A Photo Essay. Bake at 400 degrees F (oh hey, the oven is already there, how handy!) for about 10 minutes.
11. The onions are burning!
12. Oh… no, they’re just getting caramel-y. Stir them around a little and let them get nice and brown. Remove from heat.
13. Beat 8 eggs with some heavy cream until you have a pale yellow, thick liquid (as shown in Easter Sunday: A Photo Essay photo.)
14. Remove crust from oven. Remove beans and parchment paper. Add potatoes. Add onions. Add a couple of handfuls of the cheese and mix around. Pour egg mixture over all of that. Bake at 350 degrees for about a half hour- 45 minutes, until it is set in the middle (no longer liquidy).
14.5. Quick go shower so you’re ready for brunch.
15. Add an extra couple of handfuls of cheese to the top in the last 5 minutes of baking, or so, so they get nice and crispy-brown.
16. Eat. Enjoy.
*If you’re otherwise a very healthy person…