Naked Noodles

When we were kids, my brother would order one of two things in restaurants: chicken fingers, or ‘naked noodles’.

Essentially, naked noodles are exactly as they sound: white spaghetti noodles with no sauce, just butter. Lots of delicious butter. Maybe a dusting of parmesan cheez (the stuff that comes in a green can).


I have been trying my best not to do my usual end-of-semester freakout, and so far I have succeeded. I have remained remarkably calm and relaxed despite having two 20-pg (ish) papers due Wednesday and Thursday and 75 final exams and projects to grade for Friday. Deep breath.

Paper number one needs two more paragraphs, a methods section, and an introduction. Paper number two is a mere outline. Exams and projects are in a pile in the corner of my desk.

How do I cope? Compulsive eating. I’m serious. It’s really pretty terrible.

Earlier today I ate four chocolate tofutti cuties, a two-serving gladware container of chicken curry, and a chocolate bar. At 10 pm I decided to make naked noodles. Comfort food.

While the noodles (whole grain with flax, thankyouverymuch) were boiling, I minced a clove of garlic and melted a pat of butter in a small frying pan. I gently sautéed the garlic, added half a lemon’s worth of juice, grated a generous amount of (real) parmesan cheese, tossed all that with the noodles, and voilá! Naked noodles only… updated.

Back to work.


Don’t worry, mom, I’ll eat a tin of mints before talking to anyone.


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